Shook the Spot

FUZZ CATCH ARTIE DIPPING HIS NOSE IN THE SPICE RACK

As if things couldn't get any worse for Artie Bucco, the chef has been booked for drunk driving and coke possession. John Ventimiglia, who plays the increasingly irritable Artie, was weaving into oncoming traffic with his headlights off in Park Slope on Monday night when the NYPD pulled him over. He was over the blood-alcohol limit, and a bag in his back pocket contained residue of cocaine (Chrissy's, clearly). He was released without bail, but not before the Post and its dreadful punsters—"John Ventimiglia cooked himself a recipe for disaster"—caught wind of the story and plastered SOPRANOS COKE BUST on the front today . . . just below Derek Jeter's "Mini Balls" and ahead of the millions-strong immigration rallies that rocked the nation yesterday.

Now, Shook was pretty hard on Artie after "Luxury Lounge," and may even have suggested that he hang up the apron. But the rest of the fwavlosphere rose to Artie's defense, with Yo It's . . . speaking for everyone when he said, "come on, man -- i love artie bucco." Well, whatever Shok may have thought about Artie's role—and Ventimiglia's performance—in episode 7, now is certainly the time to get behind the man as he faces a threat far graver than those suits from the credit card company. Hey, if Tony can get AJ off the hook for attempted murder, he can surely help Artie beat this coke rap. Or does that only work in New Jersey?

Oh, and another family member's going to need some help as well . . . Louis Gross, more commonly known as Perry Annunziata, the bodyguard who got his ass kicked by Tony in episode 5, got his ass charged with criminal mischief for allegedly breaking into a woman's home last month. "I don't know nothing,'' he told The Associated Press. ''I'm innocent. I'm always innocent.'' (The AP, treading a thin line, says Gross "observed omerta" in refusing to speak with the press. But as Dr. Melfi said on Sunday, "This isn't omerta. This is something else.") Anyway, he's out with no bail, too.

Artie and Perry, as everyone has noted today, join an expanding lineup of Sopranos cast members whose criminal ways have walked off the set with them. Here, a running list . . .

Paulie Walnuts . . . Tony Sirico has 28 arrests to his name
Big Pussy . . . Vincent Pastore punched his ex last year
AJ . . . Robert Iler stole $40 from tourists with three of his friends in 2002
Matt Bevilaqua . . . Lilo Brancato Jr. is facing second-degree murder charges in a cop killing
Artie Bucco . . . John Ventimiglia is charged with coke possession
Perry Annunziata . . . Louis Gross allegedly broke into a woman's home

As always, are we missing any?