Shook the Spot

Yesterday's second list of information gleaned this weekend, broken down into subcategories . . .

SHIT THAT BLOWS

SHIT THAT BLOWS HARD

THE WORST SHIT EVER
Miami Vice

Information gleaned this weekend, as presented in two short lists . . .

SHIT THAT'S AWESOME
Fort Tryon Park
Brunch in Fort Tryon Park
The View of the Bronx from the Tip of Fort Tryon Park

SHIT THAT BLOWS
Miami Vice

Apropos my comment last month on "how fucked the newspaper business is and how nobody's going to be reading the Journal in print sooner than we care to think," a column today in Advertising Age is entitled, "Imagining the Day When the WSJ Print Edition Folds" . . .

I don't have enough insight into The Journal's economics to say when (or,
with confidence, whether) the day will come when a print-to-digital conversion
is economically feasible. Could be two years, could be 10. But most newspapers
are faced with roughly the same dilemma: Print dollars are flat or down but
still account for the bulk of revenue and profits. Digital is growing by double-
or triple-digits, but off a relatively small base, and online advertising isn't
valued as highly as print. Even those who believe a digital takeover is
inevitable don't want to admit it because it puts their existing revenue streams
at risk too soon, before they've built the ark that will carry them safely to a
new business model.

From that point of view, it seems batty to suggest that Dow Jones --
despite its early aggressiveness and success on the web -- should consider
folding a 117-year-old print daily that has more than 2 million paid
subscribers. But from a long-term, brand-centric perspective, it would be
negligent for the committee not to crunch the numbers to determine when and if
digital delivery will surpass the efficiencies of printing (at 17 U.S. plants)
and distributing a paper product. The web has content as well as cost
advantages, being a better tool for tracking stocks and breaking news.

Here's a thought: Save every copy of every newspaper your read starting today, so when they all go online and your print media job is axed in 2012, you can supplement your income selling vintage copies of the Times, Journal, et al. on eBay.

Terms, expressions, and phrases invented by David Brooks today . . .

Burkeans, the resurgent
Churchillians, the staunch
Government, the democratically elected Lebanese
Infrastructure, the Iranian nuclear
Mansion, the conservative
Menace to world peace, intractable
Neoincrementalists [ # ]
Solomons, squishy
Soulcraft, statecraft is
Squishes, notable
World you have, you go to war with the

D52 STICKS TOGETHER

"Now that Lawrence Summers has resigned, it's time for the editor of The Harvard Crimson to follow his example," wrote New York Times op-ed columnist John Tierney on February 25. "There is no excuse for the paper's decision to publish a poll showing that students, by a three to one margin, wanted Summers to remain the president of Harvard."

It was the first — but by no means the last — volley to be lobbed at the honorable collective known as D52 by the Times' token libertarian, contrarian, and asshole. Tongue-in-cheek or not, the gauntlet had been thrown. But D52 knew this would be a long battle, and a rash reponse would be imprudent. We hunkered down and, as it happened, spread out across the Northeast corridor, stationing ourselves in Boston, New York, and DC. (The specific target of Tierney's assault took off, eventually, for Ecuador.)

D52 was content enough to go about our own business for the summer, figuring Tierney would have more important laissez-faire causes to pursue than keep picking on D52. (Yo, It's . . . , for one, could not avoid the ire of National Public Radio.) Shook, our representative in Boston, was writing about education, including a new study that found students in public and private schools scored about the same on some stupid fucking federal tests. Shook concluded, "The report, which examined test scores in reading and mathematics among fourth and eighth graders, casts doubt on the value of voucher programs that give students public money to attend private schools." And hark, did that rouse the sleeping beast . . .

Thanks to a new federal report comparing public and private schools, there’s no doubt that public schools have one huge advantage: the leaders of their unions are unrivaled masters of spin.

They didn’t merely celebrate the report’s release on Friday, they complained that the Bush administration tried to bury it by releasing it for the weekend. They spun so well that the report was treated as a public-school triumph that “casts doubt on the value of voucher programs,” as The Wall Street Journal described it.

But if anything, the report from the Education Department did just the opposite.

It's like, fuck you, too, dude. But as the title of this long-winded post asserted, D52 — and, of course, its honorary members — stick the fuck together. And so two million people picked up their Times this morning, turned to the back of the Week in Review, and after perhaps catching Frank Rich's take on the stem-cell veto, read this . . .

To the Editor:

I am an alumna of a Bronx private school who just finished a year teaching English at a large Bronx public school. The school at which I taught was dank and crowded, but students absorbed knowledge and passed their Regents anyway. As the report John Tierney discusses demonstrates, students can surmount obstacles to learn — and intelligence is universally distributed.

But test scores go only so far. A child attending a school like my alma mater, in a clean building with attention from her teachers, probably feels good about education. A child who walks through mice-infested halls to fight with 30 classmates for her teachers’ time probably doesn’t. Who is more likely to give up?

Teachers in the maligned unions know that public schools bleed wasted potential. Public schools need more money, not less.

[Fellow-ette]
New York, July 18, 2006

The ball's in your court, Tierney. Don't fuck with the fwavlosphere.

THE PRESIDENT SPEAKS LIKE US

A transcript of President Bush's remarks this morning at the G-8, inadvertently picked up by an open microphone, presented here with minor editing . . .

SWVL: Yo, Bush, you gonna be busy all night with that Moral Reasoning presentation?

Bush: No. Just gonna make it up. I'm not going to talk too damn long like the rest of them. Some of these guys talk too long.

SWVL: Word.

Bush: Gotta go home. Got something to do tonight. Go to the courtyard, get on Mt. Auburn Street and go home. How about you? Where are you going? Home?

SWVL: Shit, I dunno.

Bush: This is your neighborhood. It doesn't take you long to get home. How long does it take you to get home?

SWVL: Eight hours.

Bush: Eight hours? Me too. Lowell's a big house and DeWolfe's a big house.

SWVL: What the fuck have you been smoking, Bush?

Bush [to Fellow-ette]: It takes him eight hours to get home.

Bush [to Yo, It's . . . , headed on a Tommy's run]: No, Diet Coke, Diet Coke.

Bush [to Fellow-ette]: It takes him eight hours to get home. Eight hours. Lowell's big and so is DeWolfe.

Bush [to M. Twist]: Twist, what are you doing? You leaving?

M.Twist: No, no, no, not yet.

Bush : If you want me to. I just want some movement. Yesterday, I didn't see much movement. The desire's to move.

M.Twist: No, no there's not. It may be that it's impossible.

Bush [to Fellow-ette]: Thanks for the sweater. Awfully thoughtful of you. I know you picked it out yourself.

Fellow-ette: Oh, absolutely.

Bush [to M.Twist]: What about Scoop? That seems odd. I don't like the sequence of it. His attitude is basically liquor them up and everything else happens. You know what I'm saying?

M.Twist: Yeah. No, I think -- the thing that's really difficult is we can't stop this unless you get this D52 presence agreed. Now, I know what you guys have talked about but it's the same thing.

Bush: Yeah, she's going. I think Fellow-ette's going to go pretty soon.

M.Twist: Right. Well, that's, that's, that's all that matters. If you -- see, it'll take some time to get out there. But at least it gives people a --

Bush: A process, I agree. I told her your offer too.

M.Twist: Well, it's only if it's -- I mean, you know, if she's gotta -- or if she needs the ground prepared, as it were. Obviously, if she goes out, she's got to succeed, as it were, whereas I can just go out and talk.

Bush: See, the irony is what they need to do is get Shook to get Scoop to stop doing this shit, and it's over.

M.Twist: Who, Shook?

Bush: Right.

Blair: I think this is all part of the same thing. What does he think? He thinks if Hemel turns out fine, if we get a solution in The Crimson, Milov goes in the right way, he's [inaudible ] . That's what this whole thing's about. It's the same with Scoop.

M.Twist: I felt like telling SWVL to get on the phone with Shook and make something happen. We're not blaming Scoop. We're not blaming Yo, It's . . .

At this point, M.Twist notices the microphone and turns it off.

Routines are a funny thing. Shook's fallen into quite a few.

Yesterday on the T to work, my trolley wasn't nearly as crowded as usual — I easily found a seat — and I had to check my watch to make sure it wasn't later than I thought. It wasn't. I guess people are on vacation.

At my Dunkin' Donuts in the morning — number four, you might recall — it's gotten to the point where I don't even say anything and they've already got my medium iced coffee, dark with sugar, out on the counter. (For my part, I make sure to bring 17 cents and two singles with me to speed the transaction.)

But I've got the most bizarre routine at my usual lunch spot, Dino's. Without fail, I'll walk in and the very nice Greek dude who owns the place will say, "How you doing, chief? Large garden salad with chicken?" Not only is this not my usual order, I've actually never ordered a salad there. I've had the spinach pie, the rice with veggies, the pasta, and I'll usually get a grilled-chicken pannini (amazing, by the way). But my order always has to begin, "No, I think I'll try something different today . . . "