Shook the Spot

The landlord for New York's premiere hip-hop radio station Hot 97 began eviction proceedings this week after yet another shooting broke out in front of the station's studios. As follows, the top ten reasons Hot 97 should and must be allowed to stay, many of which are the same reasons they are being evicted . . .

10. "The Tsunami Song" — The most offensive track of this millennium ("You could hear god laughing, 'Swim, you bitches, swim!'") is also the most hilarious. The song generated waves across the country, from official political denunciations to the epic, on-air battle between Miss Jones and Miss Info ("I know you think you're superior probably because you're Asian, but you're not") that's included in the cut linked here. (And that would be Todd Lynn in the background who says, "I'm gonna start shooting Asians.") Miss Jones and her crew got kicked off the air, but only long enough for most people to forget about the song. Now she's back and, as Shook can attest from listening in the shower every morning, better than ever.

9. Miss Jones vs. Star and Buc Wild — On the topic of a.m. jocks, where would the New York metropolitan area be without the ongoing feud between Hot 97's Miss Jones in the Morning and rival Power 105's Star and Buc Wild Morning Show? It all started back in August 2001, when the dj's shared the same show on Hot 97. Star, announcing the news of Aaliyah's tragic death, played a clip of a plane crash with demonic glee. Miss Jones would have none of it, called Star a "fucking asshole" before the censors could bleep it, and stormed out of the studio. Star and Buc Wild got suspended, jumped to Power 105, and listeners have been able to enjoy the rivalry ever since.

8. Fatman Scoop — Hot 97's unheralded midday dj doesn't take shit from nobody. Case in point, yesterday afternoon, after playing Lil' Kim's "Whoa" ("Stand behind Martin Luther King, but I'm more like Malcolm X"), Fatman laid it down . . . "You can't compare yourself to Malcolm X if you wear a nipple ring." Also, his name is Scoop.

7. Lil' Kim: Countdown to Lockdown — Speaking of the Queen Bee, her one-year sentence for perjury, stemming from a 2001 shooting outside the Hot 97 studios, spawned the best (and highest-rated) show on BET this year, chronicling her last two weeks of freedom before heading to jail. Also, The Naked Truth, released from behind bars, is possibly the best album of her career. So bottom line is, more artists should get involved in shootings at Hot 97.

6. Gravy — Shook had never heard of Brooklyn rapper Gravy before he got shot in the ass outside the Hot 97 building last week. But he's clearly the man, because instead of calling for an ambulance like some pussy, the heavyweight Gravy calmly walked upstairs and conducted an interview on the air with the bullet in his ass. Damn.

5. 50 Cent vs. The Game — The best rivalry in hip hop was christened on the Hot 97 airwaves when 50 kicked Game out of G-Unit during an interview with Funkmaster Flex last year. A member of The Game's crew ended up taking one in the leg outside the station's offices.

4. Funkmaster Flex — Not only the Funkmaster but also the Flex, he's the top dj in hip hop, the genre's kingmaker, the star of two television shows (on Spike and ESPN), a custom car maestro, and the dopest shoe spokesman since Julius Erving.

3. Kiss 98.7 and CD 101.9 — Shook has never listened to these R&B and smooth jazz stations, respectively, but the airwaves should be a smorgasbord of democracy . . . or something. In any event, it's not fair that these sister stations, which share office and studio space with 97.1, might be evicted just because Hot 97 is too hott for the radio.

2. Smackfest '05 — Remember when Hot 97 held two dozen on-air bouts in which female contestants smacked each other as hard as they could for a grand prize of $5,000? As a pacifist, Shook was more horrified than amused by Smackfest '05, but New York State had no right to slap the station with a $300,000 fine for it. Hot 97 put videos online, but had to take them down as part of Eliot Spitzer's lawsuit. Luckily, for the sake of free expression at least, one of the videos is still available here.

1. Power 105 — Blows.

 #  hustle hard on the block (0) 8:31 AM